It’s okay to be selfish sometimes. Yes it’s okay.
Self-care is for a healthy mind and soul. Ultimately, your mental and physical health should come first. Not all types of selfishness are negative. According to Dr. Bono on Psychology Today, there’s good, neutral and bad selfishness. Bad selfishness refers to actions that harm both the victim and the selfish person, eg exploiting others and stealing. Neutral refers to looking after yourself which does not affect others, eg occupying the toilet for 30mins every morning. Good selfishness benefits both parties, eg swapping items with a friend.
If you don’t take good care of yourself first, you can’t take care of others.
Sometimes I’ve dreamt of leaving my family, friends, school, home, country…and everything behind. Go to a place to start fresh. A place where no one knows me and I know no one. A place where I can be on my own. New country, new city, new friends, new community. But you may think why would you ever want to leave your family and friends? The answer is simple. Even if you have a perfect family and a group of good friends, sometimes, just sometimes, you just can’t deal with them anymore, you just get tired. Today, I’m thinking to go to a small village, where I can have my own small business, where I can design my own living place, where I can make new friends. The houses are painted with different vibrant colours, joint by a small canal. A bit like Burano in Venice. Just 15mins away, it connects to a big city where I can travel by myself. I’m smiling just when I’m imagining this day.
So that’s how I spent this Sunday – daydreaming in a cup of coffee’s time. Healthy daydreaming allows your mind to be free from this world, free from restrictions, and free from reality. Just for a while. But it’s enough to relax and stay out of this stressful reality. Just sometimes, you’ve got to be selfish.